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Please note that this content is sexually explicit. We recommend that you should not read this content if you are offended by sexually explicit material.

You won’t find God Almighty in the bottom of an empty pot in some low-end bar, God is too classy for beer.
God dines in fashionable restaurants and orders truffles for entree.
God’s Grange Hermitage must breathe for half an hour and naturally
He’s a big tipper, particularly with short-skirted waitresses who always have a sultry smile for Him.

God wears a well cut Italian suit and issues orders to archangels over his smartphone.
God’s phone is crammed with important information such as the exact time and date of the last judgement,
the location of innumerable fallen sparrows,
the price of ox-bladders on the Chicago futures market and the name of the winner of the fourth race at Flemington next Saturday.
The phone is of course later than the latest model, God likes to be more than up to date.

God has one son who used to be head prefect at Scotch College before he discovered psychedelic rock and dope,
damned punk now wears black and lives in a Fitzroy slum…
Oh well, thinks God, I send these things to try myself!

God lives in a double-storey mock Georgian home in Brighton.
His partner, Goddess, works out three times a week at the Fitness centre in Church Street,
wears leopard-skin leotards and high heels which somehow never get caught in tram tracks or storm-water grates.

At night, before putting the mahabindu to rest they discuss exhibitions and ballet,
listen to Bach and Handel – played by Bach and Handel,
watch Grand Designs for tips on doing up the holiday house at Portsea,
then retire to the softest bed in the universe where they make perfect, tireless, tantric love.

God has an enormous cock and Goddess…infinite orgasms.

© 2012 Tony Foley

Image: Tony Foley

Tony Foley set up a webpage in 1995 called Poetry Web, which was one of the first poetry pages on the web. He has knocked around with lots of different jobs from cab driver to forklift driver, postal clerk to pollster, but since 1989 he has worked in an academic library.

Tony has performed plays – mostly in character roles with a Russian theatre company. He has read at many venues around Melbourne including La Mama Poetica, Montsalvat Poetry Festival, Victorian Writers’ Centre, Dan O’Connell Hotel, and even been a wandering poet at the Melbourne Wine and Food festival.

He has been filmed for community television and been interviewed on community radio. Tony is married and live in the picturesque, outer Melbourne suburb of Eltham. Tony’s collection The Fool is available on Amazon.